Shards of Memory

Pretty new mood theme from xxxholicxxx , with images from several different anime (Ouran, Gakuen Alice, Bleach, Death Note, etc.). If you want to see all the images, be my guest; a lot of them are quite funny, especially the Ouran pics.


Anyway, enough rambling. Back to studying for my Astronomy finals next week.

When two of your classmates have mental breakdowns in the span of two days, you have to wonder if things are more stressful than they seem. True, the past couple of weeks have been hell, but nothing worse than anything we got in Pisay; I’ve had three project submissions and one test over the past two weeks, but it’s really not as bad as it sounds. Then again, maybe I’m just too laid-back *cough cough*

In case some of you are curious, I’ll tell you about my poor, overworked classmates. Last Friday, my groupmates and I went to the tutor’s office to get help for our project that was due yesterday. After an hour or so, I left to go to my Biostats class. I met up with my groupmates again on Saturday, and they told me about what I’d missed. Two of my groupmates were still in the office last Friday afternoon when suddenly one of our other classmates, who was working on the project in one corner of the room, suddenly snapped and said something like he couldn’t take it anymore. He then threatened to jump out of the window (the office was on the 8th floor). Apparently, declarations of suicide attempts are not unusual here in Singapore, and no one paid any attention to the poor boy. They eventually regretted this when said boy suddenly collapsed and started convulsing uncontrollably. They called an ambulance and the paramedics brought him to a nearby hospital. He recovered fairly quickly and was out of the hospital by Saturday. I contemplated regretting that I had gone to my (optional) Stats class, but then my groupmate showed me the injury he got from trying to control the convulsing boy, and all thoughts of regret suddenly disappeared.

Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end there. After my groupmates had told me this fascinating story, we continued working on our project until one of them (one of the guys who was in the office with the convulsing boy and also happens to be his friend) got a call on his cellphone. I wasn’t really paying attention, but then I suddenly heard him exclaim “oh my god!” and then something else and then he hung up. He then said something else to the rest of us and then he left. I didn’t think much of it until I noticed a few hours later that he still hadn’t come back. So I asked one of my other groupmates if something had happened. He said, “You didn’t hear? One of his friends tried to commit suicide again.” I just blinked at him and he explained that our groupmate has a female friend (who also happens to be friends with the convulsing boy) who has been having a lot of problems in her life (family, school, etc.) and is thus suicidal. Her most recent attempt (excluding last Saturday) was just last Thursday. He didn’t know any more details so I just waited for my other groupmate to get back. When he finally did, he looked like he really needed to talk about it so I asked him. Apparently, the one who called him was the convulsing boy, who was worried about the girl. My groupmate said that the girl was ok, she hadn’t done anything yet but she would have done something if they hadn’t reached her in time. Apparently, her suicide attempts follow a pattern; if she doesn’t answer her phone all day, she’s probably going to try something. And last Saturday, she wasn’t answering her phone, so the convulsions guy called my groupmate and they rushed to her dorm room (incidentally, we stay in the same dorm). They managed to get there before she could do anything, and they spent a few hours trying to cheer her up and make her laugh. I then asked him about her suicide attempt last Thursday. Following the pattern, she wasn’t answering her phone again, so they went to her room but she wouldn’t open the door. By the time the teacher in charge arrived with a master key, she had already consumed a total of eight sleeping pills. I don’t know if she was hospitalized or not, but after last Saturday’s incident, she’s apparently taking a leave of absence.

It did not escape my notice that both of these people are Life Science (Bio) majors, hence the title of this entry. Granted, the girl had other problems besides academics, but I really can’t understand why the guy just cracked. Maybe this is a case of "nasa loob ang kulo" and whatnot, in which case I should probably make it a point to rant more. Well, at least the semester’s almost over. FF XII, here I come :P

EDIT: I forgot to add that this whole thing makes me glad that I was raised in the Philippines. It's pretty obvious that Filipinos are significantly more laid-back than Singaporeans. The almighty Lee Kuan Yew might claim that that's the reason why Singapore is a first-world country and we're not, but you have to wonder if it's worth the stress these people have been experiencing since childhood. More than one Singaporean has told me that Filipinos always seem so happy, and that they want to live in the Philippines because they think it'll make them happy. Well, if nothing else, living in the Philippines might make them appreciate things they've taken for granted (like negligible crime rates, no traffic, and free wireless internet on-campus).

Finally.. All of my midterms are over and done with. I think I messed up my Genetics exam, but I don't want to think about that anymore. It's not like there's anything I can do about it. I'll just make up for it in the next exam and in the finals.

A couple of days ago, I had a YM conversation with someone I haven't spoken to in a long time, and it reminded me of how much I miss high school. Pisay life had its ups and downs (mostly "downs" for me; 4th year is the only year I don't look back on with regret). There are still times when I wish I hadn't transferred from ICA to Pisay; I really regret losing contact with all of my ICA friends and to be honest, I sometimes feel that I was more needed and useful in ICA than in Pisay. But then again, I also think I grew more as a person in Pisay than I ever did in ICA. Back in elementary, I had no interest in challenging myself; I was content with getting high grades and having enough time to read and play video games. In Pisay, I didn't have that luxury; I had to constantly improve myself or else I'd fall behind. But I suppose it's useless to be thinking about these things now. I'm not in Pisay anymore. I'm in NUS, whether I like it or not. But that YM conversation just brought back a lot of memories. Nakakamiss nga talaga :)

Ang init nanaman. I realize (too late) that I shouldn't have spent so much time in the aircon lounge. Now the heat seems worse than it actually is. I'm surprised that Cassy and I haven't gotten sick yet despite being exposed to temperature extremes everyday (really cold lecture theaters and then really hot canteens and bus stops). Sana nga hindi kami magkasakit. Wala pa namang mga clinic dito kasi medyo malapit lang yung ospital. But it's still not near enough to prevent me from worrying about getting seriously ill. If someone got really sick in his room, I don't think anyone would realize until it's too late. Morbid, but likely.

Tinatamad na ko magtype. So until next time (whenever that may be).